lyrics

spade

I may be a whore
But you're an alcoholic
I'll call a spade a spade
You call it what you want to call it
I'm not mad, just concerned
What you told your friends
Thought I hadn't heard?
But you tell me, what was the bigger lie?
Was it me and that guy
Or was it you and I?

Looking back, the nights we spent
In different rooms, in different beds
Talkin bout the same old thing
Growing old, ball and chain
Photographs of who we were
Potted plants, undisturbed
Watered well, but under sunned
And you're surprised
That I would run?

I've been known to throw a bone
At a passing dog, at a rolling stone
You've been known to throw a fit
When the cash runs out, when the moneys spent
But don't you act like you're broke
With your fancy house
And your brand new clothes
And I won't act like I'm mad
With my busy life
And my brand new man

lonely

Here's hoping this song finds you lonely
Because that means there are others like me
Unable to see and be seen
In any kind of conventional capacity

But don't be indifferent to my deference
You are no different than me

Here's hoping this song finds you lonely
Because that means there are others like me
Unable to see and be seen
In any kind of conventional capacity

You are not alone
You are not alone
You are not alone
You are not alone

Here's hoping this song finds you lonely
Because that means there are others like me

up

I left the window open and the curtains closed
Hoping you'd hear me
I left the light on and the door unlocked
Hoping you'd walk in without knocking

You would have found me
On the floor of the living room, laughing
Knowing my plan had worked
I'd invite you to sit down beside me
Talk about all the things that frighten me
Share in the wine I'd been drinking alone

(chorus)
We have nowhere to go but up from here
We have nothing to prove to anyone

We'd awaken to the smell of coffee
Sheets all askew around our feet
Sunlight pouring in from the door
You'd sleepily read me the headlines
From a world still happening outside
That doesn't seem the same anymore

Later we'd drive to the city
And climb to the top of a building
Take in a breath as we both look down
Then I'd tell you the story
About how I will always be worried
I'll jump to my death on the ground

(chorus x 2)

I left the window open and the curtains closed
Hoping you'd hear me.

run for your life

My heartache it takes me and shakes me awake in the night
I'm fumbling and stumbling through doorways to turn on the light
Whiskey and water and wine will just have to suffice
For these blundering thundering voices I'm hearing inside

(chorus)
What are you doing with your time?
What are you trying to hide?
Don't you go down without a fight
You gotta run run run for your life

Alarming how easily charmed I was out of good form
Falling down face first and smiling even though it hurt
The phone rings it's maddening how easy it is to ignore
The red flag, the iceberg, the wolf in disguise at the door

(chorus x 2)

villanelle

I see a shape, but not a face
Two eyes I used to know so well
An oval void of life erased

The shrinking mouth, the sour taste
It used to laugh, it used to yell
I see a shape, but not a face

The quietness leaves little trace
Of once blooming, bursting swells
An oval void of life, erased

Arms inhabit empty space
Those once held have not fared well
I see a shape, but not a face

The legs they do not wish to race
The body just rebels
An oval void of life erased

Tired of the quickening pace
The lastly straw has fell
I see a shape but not a face
An oval void of life erased

easy

I want this to be easy for you to hear
Help you forget all the bad things from this past year
I want this to be easy for you to feel
No over thinking it, baby. Give yourself time to heal

(chorus)
I want this to be easy and I won't push at all
Hold myself steady, trying not to fall
But I've got pages of things that I shouldn't say at all

Trying to keep things easy, ain't no easy thing to do
Every thought makes its way back to you
Trying to keep things easy, aint no easy thing
I know I can't touch bottom, I'm still jumping in

(chorus)

the lie: a black keyed sonnet

I often turn the porch light on at night
My little beacon lit and all aglow
Alone I watch the moths fly to and fro
Distracted from that gentle starry sky

Without their guiding orb that milky shine
To help them travel through the world they know
One softer than this bright white light bulb show
You'd think by now they'd understand, I sigh

But then I guess I could just let them be
Just leave them out at night again to fall
For her that lunar smoke and mirror trick

I fumble for the switch to let them see
That false electric moon against the wall
That honest metal sheen against the brick